Idiots, Every One

Signs of Interest 16

Idiots, Every One

Justin leaned against the railing and looked out over the water, a glass of scotch dangling from his hand. Behind him, inside, the rehearsal dinner was winding down over profiteroles and coffee. And Goldie refused to look at him, let alone speak beyond the demands of the occasion and politeness.

He didn't blame her, not really. He'd seen her father's case file. She had reason to not like cops. She had reason to resent him. She had even more reason to stay away from him. And if that's what she wanted, if that was the only thing he could give her then he'd walk away. It would kill him. It was killing him when all he wanted to do was take her to bed and keep her there. Fuck her until she never lost the feeling of him inside of her. Until she was drenched in him, his scent, his sweat, his taste, his come...and there was no possible way for her to escape him...until the bond formed...until she was drowning in his love. The love that was drowning him. Maybe by then she'd believe he loved her and it was safe to trust him.

But he couldn't. He'd put her father in jail and he wasn't going to get out this time. He was a cop and she hated him.

Justine slid the door closed silently and looked at him. The picture of dejection. Hah! "You're an idiot Justin. You're both idiots."

Justin jumped, dropping his glass and spinning around. "What the...?"

"You and Goldie. Idiots." She gave him a friendly smile. "And here I thought you were so good for her."

"She hates me."

"See, that's what I mean. You really had me fooled. I really thought you understood her better than that."

"I put her father in jail. I'm a cop." Justin groaned. "She hates me."

"Her father put himself in jail. And she can't keep her eyes off of you." She crossed the deck to join him against the railing. "I understood, finally, why you demanded she consciously commit to you. But see, Goldie's not like most people. She thinks everyone hates her. And that everyone eventually is going to leave her because she isn't lovable."

Justin's eyes narrowed to predatory slits.

"Ah, good." Justine grinned. "So maybe I wasn't wrong about you. Maybe you are the guy for her." When he didn't say anything she laughed. "Luc and Dane are wondering where you are. I think they're getting antsy."

Justin nodded. "Yeah. I can see why they might be. Are you always like this?"

She didn't pretend to misunderstand. "In general I keep it hidden. I wasn't going to say anything. I refused to talk to you for her when she asked. I figured you'd have it under control. But I'm running out of time."

Justin leaned back against the railing. "Explain."

Justine sighed. "The wedding's tomorrow. You'll be going home and I'll be leaving with Luc. She'll be all alone then." She stopped, whatever else she might have added cut short by the door opening again to emit Luc.

Luc glanced from Justine to Justin. "Ah. Trying to talk sense into Mr Stubborn here, I see. Personally I think he needs to take a look at Goldie's studio tomorrow when he goes to pick her up for the wedding. Meanwhile, come on. Dane and I are ready and the girls have plans too."

"Pick her up?" Justin's eyebrow arched.

Justine grinned. "Oh. Yeah. Didn't Luc tell you?"

"Yeah, your job as best friend and best man is to go pick up Goldie and get her to the church on time. And pick up the painting she did of Justine and me as a wedding present."

Justin's lips wavered between a frown and a grin for a moment. Then he laughed. "Right. One female and one canvas, delivered to the church on time. Does she know?"

Luc nodded. "Yeah. She's been meaning to talk to you all evening, you know, but I'm thinking her courage fails her in public."

"Then perhaps she needs a bit of privacy," Justin murmured after a long pause. "I'll have to see what I can arrange tomorrow. You guys ready?"

The guys, laughing, took off, leaving Justine and Goldie at the restaurant. Goldie had been studying her feet during the kiss Justine and Luc shared before the men left. Once they were well away, and especially safely out of earshot, Goldie commented, "I couldn't talk to him. I freeze up. I'm such a dork."

"There's always nonverbal forms of communication," Justine said.

"Yeah, I know. He didn't balk at coming to pick me up tomorrow?" Goldie asked. When Justine shook her head no, Goldie added, "Well, tomorrow will be my last chance to apologize. I promise I will. I'll never forgive myself if I let him leave without letting him know that I... that I... was wrong about him."

Justine hugged her. "Girlfriend, he loves you. Where there's love there's always forgiveness."

"Yeah, well, you seem to have all the love. Come on, let's party, hopefully without the hang-overs the guys will end up with."

Justine stayed still. "You really believe he doesn't love you, don't you?"

"Well, he says he does. But he pulls back. So I can't figure him out."

"Pulls back?"

"Yeah. I like have to prove myself or something. I don't know what he wants, frankly. When I ask he gets all... I don't know... defensive as if I'm supposed to know already, and mutters stuff about having to make a choice."

Justine eyed her. "Want me to explain it or would you rather I just let it go?"

"You and Luc didn't do some weird kabuki dance around each other did you? So I don't see what Justin is on about. I think he just realizes... I'm not his type. He wants some normal woman, not some hippie freak with a father in prison."

"Luc and I aren't you and Justin. We did a weird non-kabuki dance and I won cause I started crying."

Goldie was close to crying now too, she stood, he car keys in her hand.

Justine blew air like a surfacing whale and yanked Goldie over to a chair. "I love you like a sister. You're my best friend for life. So sit, listen and learn, girlfriend." When she was sure she had Goldie's undivided attention she began counting on her fingers. "One, you don't trust him to know what he wants or how he feels. Mostly because you can't imagine anyone seeing anything of value in you cause you don't think there is. Two, you doubt his commitment to you. You just know sooner or later everyone leaves and you're alone again. Three, until you do trust those things, you can't really commit to him. So, the choice to is believe what he tells you about how he feels and then do it."

"Well..." Goldie began, then stopped. "I'm not sure I can trust me, Justine. ME. It's me I don't trust."

"That's why he and I are telling you to trust him. Don't you get it?"

Goldie groaned. "No. See, even if he stays true, what if I don't? I'm my father's daughter. My mother's daughter. How can I... I've never even been in love, Justine. Lust, sure. Love..."

Justine began with a giggle and before she was through she was laughing so hard she was afraid she was going to wet her pants. "Because he isn't human, chickie. It's why he won't have sex with you until you commit. Once you two bond, according to everything Luc's explained, you physically can't." She grinned. "Well, I suppose since we're women, physically we can, but we won't want to and we won't like it."

Goldie made a face. "Now you're laughing at me. And what, now are you and Luc bonded? And he's never even gonna get tempted?"

"I'm not laughing at you, honey. I promise." Justine crossed her heart and gave Goldie the Girl Scout salute. "We've been bonded since the first time we had sex. And apparently not."

"And do you feel different, being bonded?" Goldie asked. "How do you know you're bonded?"

"Because of the mate-bond. It's in my head. Like telepathy and empathy combined, only just with him."

"So you like know where he is? Know what he's thinking? Feeling? During sex?" Goldie's eyes went wide.

Justine nodded. "In greater or lesser detail depending on what we want. And here's the news flash on that. Would Justin risk bonding with you, knowing about the mate-bond, if he didn't love you and know exactly what he wanted and why?"

Goldie groaned. "I don't know, do I? You said he wasn't human. Maybe he wants a green card!" Goldie started giggling. "Luc, your legal alien, as of tomorrow anyway."

"He's going back after the wedding."

"And you with him. And I'm gonna miss you," Goldie added fighting back a sob. "Dammit, I promised myself I wasn't going to cry."

Justine pulled her close. "I don't wanna go out. I wanna go to my place, get in my jammies, watch chick flicks, eat popcorn and drink wine."

Goldie laughed. "Our last chance to sob over Sleepless in Seattle."

"And extra butter on the popcorn."

"You have to fit into that dress, girlfriend," Goldie reminded her.

"I have this corset," Justine whispered, mischief alight in her eyes. "I think Luc'll like it. It sort of frames the new wax job."

"Oh shit," Goldie relied giggling. "You have to model it for me. This I gotta see."

"Oh yeah. Along with the stockings and the garters and the push up demi bra. But what I can't decide is whether to wear panties or not, and if I do go with the thong or the crotchless. The set came with a pair of each. It's all white lace with bows, all very virginal until you put it all together. The bows on the panties tie the sides together. But I'm betting he'll still tear them off of me."

"With his teeth if I know Luc," Goldie replied laughing. "Come on, let's get to your place. I'll make the popcorn."

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