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Signs of Interest 10

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At first Goldie had been self-conscious trying to work with Justin there. She wasn't used to anyone watching her - or anyone even being in the apartment with her when she painted. Well, other than during class. She was used to solitude.

But he'd been quiet and after a time she'd forgotten he was even there, her mind taken up with her work. Her hands taking over her body, her mind going into its usual semi-conscious fugue state, as the part of her that was her creative muse took control. She surrendered to it and it was 5 hours later when she finally came back to reality.

She set her brushes down and rolled the muscles in her shoulders. She was stiff and tired, but felt a bit more like her old self than she had for some time. It felt wonderful.

She looked around and then walked out of the studio into the main part of her apartment. She halted in the doorway, astonished to see that Justin had been busy putting the place to rights. She was ashamed to say she'd been lax about the mess the bad guys and then the police had left. It was just that so much had been going on in her life over the last few days, not to mention what was going on in her head, that she'd needed to get away from messy reality, find her neat center and create for awhile before she could even begin to tackle life. And now, here...

Justin himself was sprawled on the couch, asleep. She knew he hadn't slept well last night, so it wasn't surprising. She studied him a moment, her fingers moving unconsciously as she did so, almost sketching him.

He was such a puzzle to her. He could be gentle one moment then grouchy and bossy the next. Patience? Hah. Non-existent with regard to certain things, yet... yet he insisted on her having time, the time she needed, to figure out just what she felt about him.

And that was the issue, wasn't it? She honestly didn't know what she felt. It was scary and intriguing and maddening all at the same time, whatever it was she felt about him. And the fact he kept insisting he'd never leave her, that was the scariest thing. People shouldn't make those kind of promises. Life happened and boom, you ended up separated whether you wanted to be or not. But Justin wasn't very practical about that sort of thing. He seemed to think he could just order the universe to let him have what he wanted.

He had to go home, didn't he? And she... she had a life here. It might not be the best of lives, but it was hers and it was all she had.

She gave up thinking and went back into the studio, packing up the teddy bear canvas for Justin. She still thought the idea of showing it at Susie's gallery was utterly crazy. It was such a silly thing. That bloody teddy with his miniature sword. Who'd want to buy something like that? Why not take a nude? Okay, granted, not many folks wanted them either.

She bit her lip as she remembered something Justin had said. He'd given the stupid thing a title. What was it? She thought for some time before she remembered it. "Signs of Interest." She laughed to herself. A pretentious title for a teddy bear drowning in roses.

She walked back out into her living room and walked over to lean on the back of the couch and look down at Justin. He cracked open one eye.

"Hey there sleepy head. I'm back amongst the living. Thanks for letting me hide out in art."

"No thanks required. How are you?"

She stayed where she was, leaning on the back of the couch, and regarded him. "Better. The last few days have been kind of crazy, you know? You've turned my world upside down."

He grinned. "Ditto."

"I packed up the teddy bear for you," she told him. "I called Susie too. She's expecting it."

He sat up, so his eyes were more level with hers. "Are you ashamed of it?"

"No.. It's just.. personal. I didn't expect .. I don't know. I'm always unhappy when my stuff is on display. It's like I'm letting folks look into my psyche or something."

All the ways to protect yourself from, from the pain of rejection. She knew them all by heart, moved to them like a kata. Stay hidden, have no needs, no wants, no hopes...never ask for anything but just wait, like a dog, for whatever scraps fell to the floor. There was only now, never later, no matter the promise. Show nothing and trust nothing. He could almost hear the notes of the song in the air. She quivered with it. All the tricks to stay safe, to remain untouched, or so she thought, by the pain. She might think she knew what her life had done to her, but she didn't really, not the part that lay submerged in her psyche and caused her to wrap herself in distance. "I know," he said, hiding how he ached for her, needing to find a way to heal her.

She studied his eyes for a small eternity. "I'm sorry I disappoint you."

"You don't. You couldn't."

"I've never been good at the whole relationship thing. Never dated much, so maybe I'm just in need of practice."

He took her hand and tugged her closer. "I adore you, angel," he said against her mouth as he kissed her.

She froze for a half a heartbeat then melted into the kiss. She was dazed, her lips rosy and swollen and her cheeks flushed when she lifted his head, her eyes closed, the lids fluttering slightly. He leaned his forehead against hers, tracing her mouth with his thumb. "Coffee. Definitely time for strong, black coffee."

"Since you insist on torturing yourself, yeah. For me too. But I'd bet Justine and Luc will be here soon so they can save us from our hormones."

"Not risking it," he said. "I can have you naked on this couch, your legs in the air in less than two minutes. Hell, the way I feel, less than one minute." And why aren't you, his inner demon demanded. It's a great plan. Justin shook his head hard and forced his hands to let go of her, pushing himself back away from her, escaping the space filled with her scent and her heat.

Goldie stood where she was, her arms wrapped around herself, looking at the floor. "I'm gonna go change," she announced and headed for the bedroom.

He headed for the kitchen and the coffee pot. But first the cold water tap. It wasn't a cold shower but it was the best he was going to do at the moment.

Goldie stripped when she reached the bedroom and did take a quick, definitely cold shower. He was just so... maddening. One minute he was kissing her crazy and the next he was running out of the room. She sighed and turned off the water, dried herself and pulled on the first outfit that came to hand. God, she needed to do laundry.

When she walked back into the living room Justine and Luc were coming through the door.

"Hey, there you two," Goldie said with a grin, relieved really, that she wouldn't be alone with Justin. She might just bash him over the head and drag him to bed if she was. "How'd you survive, Luc? Did the co-eds drool?"

"Co-eds?" Luc asked.

"The students," Justine translated. "He growled at all the males, was drooled over by all the females. I definitely need a drink and a club."

"I did not growl at all of them. Just some of them," Luc replied, hurt. "The ones who needed it. How are you, Goldie?"

"Good, I'm good. Justin's making coffee."

"Damn," Luc muttered, heading into the kitchen presumably to help.

Justin looked over his shoulder at Luc. "Tell me again why I can't just claim her?"

"Because you've decided to be all noble and shoot for the perfect bonding. I guess she's still not, uhm, convinced it's a good thing?"

"She's so terrified she can hardly think."

Luc blinked. "Of you?"

"Not so much of me, but of letting herself trust and even worse, of letting herself hope." Justin sighed. "She doesn't believe me, either."

"Well, I expect she doesn't trust herself either. What doesn't she believe? That you won't ever leave her?"

"That and anything else that isn't about her being rejected, used and abused. I swear, I'm going to kill her father."

"She loves him though. He's all she has, or at least so she thinks. I'm worried about her reaction if he is involved in this."

"No need to worry. She'll blame us. We're cops."

"Don't get cynical on this. She's only got her own experience to go on. She's trying hard to overcome it."

"It's not cynical. He's all she thinks she has. And all the rest is about making sure she doesn't lose him, either by seeing him for who he really is or by letting anyone hurt him."

Luc leaned back against the counter and crossed his feet. "If we're right... She's likely to see it as being forced to choose a side. I'd suggest you come up with something to help her see it isn't that way, doesn't have to be that way."

Justin snorted in disgust. "Right. Got any ideas?"

"We break him outta jail and take him with us?" Luc replied, pouring himself a coffee and then one for Justin.

Justin groaned. "I need a drink."

"Funny," Justine said from where she'd been eavesdropping. "That's exactly what I said."

"Hey, luv. What, you need a drink?" Luc asked, pouring her a coffee, his hand brushing hers as he handed it to her. "Where's Goldie? We better be more careful."

Justine opened a cupboard and extracted a bottle of cognac. Eschewing cream and sugar she added a generous amount to her coffee and passed the bottle to Justin. "I won't tell if you drink it out of the bottle. Especially since I'm about to make your night."

Justin froze.

"I'm supposed to have dinner with my brother tonight. It's his birthday on Sunday."

"Shit," Luc commented. "Can you put it off just for tonight? One of us has to stake out the gallery and the other has to keep an eye on both you and Goldie. Or... would Goldie go with us? Then you could introduce your fiancé to your family."

"I figured we could all go," she said. "That painting doesn't need to be to Susie until morning. We're meeting Dane at the University Club at seven thirty."

Justin grunted. "Why does that make me think of neckties?"

"Because you'll be wearing one," Justine said with a smile. "In recompense, I'll be in a number that works well with spikes and a garter belt."

"Too much information on the last, Justine," Justin said.

"Spikes and a garter belt, eh?" Luc commented, his eyes laughing. "We might not make it to the dinner."

"We will," Justine assured him. "Dane's picking us up. He's been at NASA Langley all day so he'll swing by and pick us up."

Justin tilted his head at her. "NASA?"

"Yeah, he's physicist. Don't get him started though," Justine said sipping her coffee.

"Dr. Dane Calloway?" Justin prompted. "Cosmologist? String theory? Wormholes?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" she asked.

"We're a bit better read than we pretend," Luc replied, sharing a look with Justin. "So, I'll run over to the house and get us some togs, Justin. You get to talk Goldie into coming with us."

"Talk me into what?" asked a suspicious voice from the doorway. "I knew you guys were up to no good. Oh, the cognac. I could use some of that."

"Dinner with Dane, for his birthday," Justine said, passing the bottle. "Spike heels and the bustier for you, girlfriend."

"God you're a bitch, Justine," Justin groaned.

"And don't you just love it?" she giggled.

"Don't worry, Justin. I'll wear sweats. Nice baggy ones," Goldie offered, pouring herself a good dollop of cognac in her coffee. "Ones with paint smears all over them. We'll let Justine carry the burden of representing sexualized women."

Justin growled. "I may not get to touch, but by god I can look and if you wear sweats I'll take them off and dress you myself."

"Okay, okay!" Goldie replied. "I'll dress up. Sheesh. Men."

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